A Serious Question

How does Superman shave?

I mean, if I'm supposed to believe that a single strand of his hair can suspend a 5,000 pound ball (see: Superman IV), and suspend disbelief that Lex could cut said hair to create his evil Superman clone (who was blond for some reason), am I to believe that Superman doesn't shave? I mean, he's humanoid in every other way...

So this leads us to an interesting conjecture... Does he have Kryptonite tipped razor blades? I'm assuming not, since that could like kill him. And don't start in with the whole, "he just uses his heat-ray vision" argument, because that's stupid. How would he see his face? And also, he'd melt the mirror that you are about to suggest. So don't. You're dumb.

So what is it then? How does Superman shave? Discuss.

And Another Thing

I hope your kid breaks his leg.

Dear Old People: Email Edition

And by "Old People" I mean pretty much anyone who says "Web 2 point oh", has an aol email account, or still uses Internet Explorer as their primary web browser. You people hurt me emotionally. But there's one thing that I think is not TOO much to ask, that I really wish you could grasp.

It involves email. I know you know what email is. And that's a really, REALLY good start. So let's say you get an email from a friend. If you want to write back to that friend, you know you push the "reply" button. That's also really awesome. You are doing really well. Pretty soon, then internet will be coming to YOU for advice.

So here's the thing. Supposing your friend sent an email to you, but also to a few other people who might be interested in the topic. This can be called CC'ing, or carbon-copying, but it could just be a mass mail. Either way. So when you want to respond to your friend, you still click that happy, "Reply" button. When you want to respond to say, I dunno, EVERYONE on the list, you click "Reply to All". What I don't understand is why, after getting some mass email, you IE using, AOL address having, old piece of shit, click REPLY ALL to send your friend some fucking useless story about your kid's soccer game, that CLEARLY is not meant for everyone on the list. I don't understand what's so FUCKING confusing about the REPLY ALL button. It says "ALL". You're a fucking idiot. FUCK YOU!

Ummmm

Anyone else feel slightly uneasy with the whole idea of both presidential candidates roasting each other and joking around with a bunch of media heavies? I mean... it's not The GROVE, but it's like a little sketchy...






Weird, right?

On the last debate:

Ummm... can't we just vote already? And also, why was like half the debate devoted to whether or not Obama is running negative ads? Like O said, the people don't really care who said what... they want to know what you're going to DO about the FUCKED UP state of the nation.

Things I like about Manhattan at Rush-hour

...

Dear LA Hipsters:

Dear LA Hipsters,

You're doing it wrong.

Sincerely,

Herman C. Gurftastic

HooseHain

Ummm, STL Today (I'm assuming that's some sort of paper in the St. Louis area) has a great article on it's endorsement of Obama. Read it HERE. It talks about his qualifications. It talks about why him versus McCain. But probably the most striking thing, is that it doesn't mention his race until the very end:

Finally, only at this late point do we note that Barack Obama is an African-American. Because of who he is and how he has run his campaign, that fact has become almost incidental to most Americans. Instead, his countrymen are weighing his talents, his values and his beliefs, judging him not by the color of his skin, but the content of his character.

That says something profound and good — about him as a candidate and about us as a nation.

The author's reference to MLK aside, I'm kinda inclined to agree... although I think about HALF of America is judging him SOLELY on the color of his skin... Aka: He's an Arab...

One last thing

Before I venture off to the West for a bit...

WHY ISN'T ANYONE UP IN ARMS OVER THE FACT THAT PALIN STILL HASN'T GIVEN A PRESS CONFERENCE? It's like less than a month till the election, and she's yet to take questions from reporters. Obviously we know why... but like, rather than reporting on her, why don't reporters band together and force her to actually give a press conference. Like put a moratorium on stories about her until she agrees... seems pretty simple actually.

And peace.

WTF GOOGLE

What the FUCK is this?

I know him.

Caleb Rocks... They interviewed me for the article, but the only quote I gave em was, "His name on Halo is wangojesu".

F**K It!