Friday, October 31, 2008

A Serious Question

How does Superman shave?

I mean, if I'm supposed to believe that a single strand of his hair can suspend a 5,000 pound ball (see: Superman IV), and suspend disbelief that Lex could cut said hair to create his evil Superman clone (who was blond for some reason), am I to believe that Superman doesn't shave? I mean, he's humanoid in every other way...

So this leads us to an interesting conjecture... Does he have Kryptonite tipped razor blades? I'm assuming not, since that could like kill him. And don't start in with the whole, "he just uses his heat-ray vision" argument, because that's stupid. How would he see his face? And also, he'd melt the mirror that you are about to suggest. So don't. You're dumb.

So what is it then? How does Superman shave? Discuss.


Mafoo said...

A. Superman sucks

B. The Superman movies really suck.

C. Here's how, do your fucking homework.

D. Spiderman forever.

Mike said...

I don't fucking care how.

But check this out: Fortress of Solitude

By the way, Matt, did you know that video existed before today?

Mafoo said...

Nah, I definitely youtubed superman + shaving. That's how interesting my life is. I spend time debunking your Superman fantasies.

The Gurftastic Blog said...

ok, let me reiterate, Supey's heat-ray vision is a concentrated beam of heat. It is NOT light. It would NOT bounce off a fucking mirror. I dunno what the writers of that Nick toon you sent me were thinking, but try are obviously idiots. Heat and light are two completey seperate things. Don't even get me started on the bullshit that is the Spiderman franchise. I agree that most of the Duperman movies suck, but you GOT to be kidding me with that Spider shit.

Mafoo said...

Dude, Spiderman is where it's at. Disregarding origin (which I also think is better in Spidey's case), he's a superhero with an actual personality. Granted, Tobey McDouchebag didn't exactly add much personality to the character, but the original is a sarcastic fuck who messes with people. I'd think that your sarcastic ass would be down with him. Superman? Whether he's Clark Kent or Superman, he's just a bland two-dimensional asshole.

kelli said...

stay on topic, boys.