Banda: The Scourge of All that is Good and Beautiful in Life

There's a "fiesta" house next door to where I'm living. It's a spot you can rent and throw parties. Friday there was a party that started at 3 pm and ended at 2 am. It usually consists of HORRIBLE Karaoke singing (mostly Spanish tunes, and for some reason, always "Achy Breaky Heart"). It's literally the next building over, and SOOOOOOOO LOUD. But today was different. Today, the party started at noon. Things to keep in mind: I got very drunk last night... again. And I was incredibly hung over this morning. So when noon rolled around, and all of a sudden I heard a brass section start "warming up" I realized how much my neighbors all these years must have hated me. For those of you who don't know what Banda music is...




That should give you an idea... you have to get through the cheesy intro. In any event, there's this incredibly large band with dancers and singers, out of tune clarinets, tubas, trOmbones (not tromBONES), trumpets, drums and other assorted things that make me want to gouge my ears out with my anus. I mean, one tune might be ok to listen to... but it's currently 10 pm. And they are going STRONG. Yeah. 10 straight hours. And not to mention the fact that it's been REALLY hot here today, but I couldn't like open a window because the stench of Banda would overflow the apartment and possibly kill me.

Banda music is very popular amoung the "Narco" crowd. These are the drug traffickers who are so prevalent in Culiacan. I've heard stories from trumpet players about being hired for a Narco party and playing for 6 hours, starting at 10pm, and the Narcos saying, "No, you have to keep playing". So they play until the wee wee hours of the morn. Yeah. And nobody can really tell them to shut up, seeing as how they have more weapons than the Army. Yeah. It's bad. And so right now I'd really like to somehow envelop my head within my own rectum and like, turn inside out or something. Anything really that would possibly make this STOP.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

In other news: I hate Banda music. And Raplh Nader has decided to try to screw up another election. I think someone should tell him that they country kinda still harbors some ill will for the whole 2000 election thing... Not that he probably doesn't have some good ideas. But he also, ya know, like takes votes away from people who might want votes. Like Democrats.