Allow Me to Elucidate You

OK, this whole "Hillary Supporters for McCain" thing is really starting to piss me off. McCain's ex-adviser is right, we've become a nation of "whiners". Look, Hillary lost. The primaries are in place so that each party can choose a candidate best suited for the general election. Both Obama and Clinton are powerful candidates and wildly popular. But she lost. She didn't win. It was a race, and she lost. That's why Obama is the candidate. You'll notice you don't see millions of "Mormons for Obama" who are pissed that Mitt Romney lost. Why do you think that is? Certainly not because Republicans are any less moronic than you are.

But you are delusional. I fail to see how attempting to put McCain in the White House does ANYTHING good for A) the country, B) Hillary, C) you. I mean, do you honestly think that if he wins, then 4 years from now Hillary will be President? REALLY? LIKE REALLY???? Or, are you really dumb enough to vote for McCain/Palin because there's a woman on the ticket? I mean, I know women have smaller brains, so I'm sure it's been really hard to figure out... but like, REALLY??

WAKE UP PEOPLE! You're pissing me off.

WHY GURF, WHY????

Because.

I've often been asked, "Why pajamas"? Well friends, enemies, casual readers, die-hards... there's two reasons. The original intent of the Jammy Jam ala 2006 was to throw a party where *hopefully* some scandalous shit would go down, and it would be memorable and yadda yadda... The first such occasion for a party happened to be shortly after Halloween, and we must've been in a dress-up sorta mood. And we all know that girls like to "ho it up" for Halloween, so we were hoping to capitalize on some of that sweet action as well.

But the second reason, and the reason I've repeated the JAM as much as possible is because of the deconstruction. One of my passions in life (the other is porn) is deconstructing people. Well, yeah... egos mostly. I like to shred people of what they cling to. This is why, when your friend meets me for the first time, they probably think I'm a jerk, and it's not until they hang out with me again, with someone ELSE who's new to me, and realize that I lay into them just as fiercely and it was nothing personal, and then they think I'm funny. And probably still an ass. But I have this unique ability to see the thing that people try to hide from the world. The ego-fear. And I exploit it. It amuses me, and I don't really give a fuck if it hurts your feelings. You should deal with your issues. I'm merely expediting the process. Don't get me wrong, other people enjoy watching me eviscerate your comfort zone as much as I enjoy your response to it. But I can't be friends with people who put up a front, so I let you know from the moment you meet me, I see right through you.

So the pajamas for me are the deconstruction of the party. People go to parties to be SEEN. Girls put on their sluttiest dress, guys wear their tightest shirts, everyone slathers themselves in all manner of stink covering odors, and you go sit or stand or dance or drink or smoke or whatever, and posture. You put up this front, hoping to Spaghetti that someone there finds you interesting enough to carry on a conversation with. You go to a party, and you look your best, and even if you never really give a fuck about how you look, for some reason THAT night you care. Why? Are you being judged? Do you really think that your friends care? What is it about the PARTY that makes people feel the need to turn a gathering into an OCCASION?

Pajamas eliminate that bullshit. Everyone looks goofy in PJ's. You can buy the best looking PJ's in the world, and really look sharp, and you're still showing up to a party in pajamas. It's fucking brilliant. It is the equalizer. We all look ridiculous. Even at Halloween, some people's costumes are much lamer than others, some people spend way too much money or thought on theirs. Pajamas are simple, and provide for creativity, but also serve to balance out this thing... I'm no billionaire, but I will look equally as ludicrous busting a move in my pj's as the old-money partying next to me. There's no labels, no need to vibe or compare. No tight jeans (CJ), no need. NO posturing. Just jammies. It's fucking brilliant. And if you don't get it, you probably didn't get invited anyways, so fuck off.

Yeah

Goddamit I love Clinton. I mean, I really felt like he was being a total cockbag during Hillary's campaign... and yet, I watch this tonite, and FUCK, I love that squirrely bastard...

I heart you

I still heart you Dennis Kucinich... I've said it once and I'll say it again... he might be diminutive, he might think that he was abducted by aliens, but he kicks so much ass, it's not even funny...

What does it mean to YOU?

I tried to do my laundry last nite. That was a big mistake. Incidentally, when is "nite" going to officially be the correct spelling for the word "night"? It's about time. How does one petition that sorta thing, because writing "nite" and having Firefox underline it in red is really starting to piss me off.

So there's this 24-hour laundromat on the corner here in beautiful Bangledeshi Brooklyn. So I get my stuff in the wash around 10pm, because I've been contemplating the mysteries of the universe until that time, ok? Anyways, stuff is in the dryer around 11:15. Now it's totally cool to leave and come back and nobody steals your crap which is great. So at 12:20, as I leave the apartment and walk to the corner to unload my dryer full of clothes that I payed to dry for 64 minutes, imagine my surprise at seeing the owner of said 24-hour laundromat walking towards me. I asked her, "are you still open?". The next is a series of events that I'm not quite sure actually happened, because I really can't fathom it.

In some sort of Enlgish/Russian/Angry tone of voice, she explained to me that they were closed.

"But you're a 24-hour laundromat... open 24-hours... it says so on the giant illuminated sign out front".

"Who's going to pay to keep it open 24-hours. Who pays for the electricity?"

"I dunno... why are you a 24-hour laundromat?"

"Who pays? YOU PAY?"

"No. I'm sorry, I just assumed when I put my clothes in for an hour that the laundromat would be open an hour later when I came to get my clothes".

"I put alarm on for police now"

"Would it be too much trouble just to open up and let me get my things, it'll be two minutes and we're right here"

"Come back, 7 am."

"Please, I had no idea, the giant sign out front that says, 'Laundromat, 24-hours, 7-days' confused me into thinking for some reason that you were open 24-hours"

"Who will pay for that?"

"I'm sure I don't know"

And it went on like this for approximately 10 minutes. The short of it is, I got my shit out of there, but not before promising to never again assume that the place would be open. Yeah.

Also, pretty sure the mouse (mice) that are living in the apartment here are getting fat on the bait, but not doing that whole "dying" thing. Like when one of em actually destroyed the trap that neither Matt nor I knows how to work, and managed to get out with the peanut butter bait, without losing his head or at the very least, a tail piece...

Yeah...

On Sexuality and Subway Sandwiches

Went into Subway today, hoping that a foot-long phallus of meat and
veggies could cure the ache my post-birthday hangover and subsequent
Gatorade-inhale-a-thon had caused. Imagine my surprise when I was
told that they were "out of food". Normal Gurf would've immediately
said something akin to, "Wow, the global food crisis finally hits
close to home". But I was hungover and when that happens my brain no
work so good. It was pretty surreal. Partly because there were
several customers in the franchise enjoying what can only be described
as "food", or I suppose "foodstuffs" if you want to try and get all
syntax police on I. It almost seemed like a hidden camera show.
Here were several people happily munching away, and trying to explain
to me that there's no food. You can imagine that this was hard for me
to comprehend. It was like someone had chosen to run a special
sociological experiment on me. The girl who just got on the subway
has awesome cleveage. Yeah I'm mobi-bloggin' in case you had visions
of me with a desktop workstation, and battery cells all hooked up and
keeping my stream of consciousness flowing.

It was sometime during this period of my hangover that I like to call
the "unusually rare moment of clarity" that I realised something about
the society in which we live. We are just like Ancient Greece.
Here's where of gets a little fuzzy, so bear with me while I attempt
to decipher. Essentially our society has become pretty much saturated
with sex. We have a sex consciousness that is unparalleled with any
that has existed in this modern age. Ancient Greeks, those kinky
fucks, were into all manner of sex, sex parties, and sexual
exploration. Men, women, boys, girls, dogs, goats... Whatever. Didn't
matter. People accepted sex as a natural and beautiful thing, but I
think even more so as an expression of the individuality of the human
experience. I mean, all of their religious stories are about the Gods
coming down from Heaven to pork hot chicks. If that isn't a culture
in touch with sex, I dunno what is.

Flash forward to Britney's vagina. America is literally drowning in
sex. The intertron has made the availability of information on all
manner of sex a few one-handed keystrokes away from anyone willing to
click a button that says they are old enough to view such things.
Everywhere you look we are literally smacked in the sex organs with
sex. Of course here I'm defining the retina as a sex organ, not so
much because you use it for sex, although I'm sure someone has tried
and probably has documented it on the world wide net. No, I say more
because a large portion of what we do to determine what we find sexual
and alluring and attractive involves out eyes. And we are inundated
with sex. It's on every billboard, in the subway, on giant screens in
times square, on the cover of the rags, on magazine stands, it's 68%
(probably more by now) of the content on the Internet, on the news and
even the "news" (sorry, Fox, I know sex sells, but you guys show more
ass per telecast than the Playboy Channel. And showing it to
show how wrong it is is totally not why you do it. You do it because
we want to see it....). It's even in childrens' tv programming. I'm
not talking chimo porn, I'm talking more about always using the most
beautiful people for
Tv, the cutesy kids, who may not be sexual yet, but even still are
grooming your children to value their attractiveness. Yeah.

So is it any wonder with all this around us constantly that our
culture has begun exploring it's... Uhhh... DARKER side. Furries,
beastiality, pegging, body modification, and gender dysmorphia to name
a few in a vast field. I've seen a lot of sick shot in my day. I
mean, way more twisted ass shit than anyone from my father's
generation had ever imagined. You can't honestly tell me your father
had seem something as sick as 2girls1cup by the time he was your
age... And that's INCLUDING the donkey show he saw in Tijuana. And
that's not really the worst thing I've seen, unfortunately. Not that
I beat off to sick shit, more like I watch things like that for
recreation. People actually do find scat sex awesome and want to
partake in it. Not my bag, but I find it fascinating that people are
into things so far outside of what we consider the 'norm'.

And despite what the South and the Christian Right would like you to
believe, everyone fucks, everyone (almost) likes some form of sexual
release, and everyone has a fantasy that really gets them going. The
ultra-conservative minded often are the ones scandalizing the tags
with their sorded and twisted sexual liasons.

So I guess what I'm saying is, my unusually rare moment of clarity
afforded me the vision of a future where you're allowed to give a
transexual prostitute a ride home at 3am and not have it be a huge
scandal.

Then This Happened

On Classical Music

I've oft thought of the future of classical music... what with nobody really listening to it anymore...

Ben Zander does something in 20 minutes here, that I hope we can all take with us a little bit... if only more outreach like this could take place...