Tuesday, December 2, 2008

How to Absolutely Suck at Business

Blockbuster just won't quit. I mean, someone over there REALLY thinks that they aren't a doomed business. So, it seems Blockbuster decided to try out this internet thingy all the kids are raving about. They've teamed with Microsoft (remember them? They're the folks that thought re-branding "hotmail" as, "Windows Live Hotmail" would stave off the mass exodus to Gmail.) to bring you... well, it seems like they're not really sure WHAT they want to bring you. According to this very PRO-Blockbuster (it's a Dallas-based company) by the Dallas Morning News, Blockbuster is going to use Microsoft's LiveMesh technology... for... some...thing...cool...in the future...maybe. It seems like the technology is similar to Apple's deal, where you can rent a movie on iTunes, and play it on your AppleTV, iPhone, iPod, computer, etc, and it work seemlessly. But even the main article just postulates a few things Blockbuster might do with a similar technology, and it seems like the Chief Information Officer of the company doesn't even really know what they want to do with it. Surprise, surprise.

Dear, dear Blockbuster, when will you learn? You can't just throw buzzwords around your substandard product and expect people to lap it up. When it comes down to it, you're still the same shitty service, with more ways to get it. You suck, you're done. How about this for a new business model... And this is a freebie... you won't even have me suing you when you use it...

Blockbuster re-announces the END OF LATE FEES. Starting today, rent any title from our online catalogue for $.99. What's the catch? None. Blockbuster has committed itself to stockpiling thousands of great older, indie, and foreign film titles, in addition to it's wonderful and sumptuous collection of straight to DVD releases by Queen Latifa. Now enjoy any title for 99 cents, and keep it as long as you want. But they'll never do that. They suck. They won't be able to transition from brick-and-mortar to online focused. So they'll take their failed business model, and they'll use it until it officially bankrupts the company. Fuck YOU Blockbuster. You guys really suck. Twice this week. TWICE!

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