Pedrassess...Incest...Imprisonment!!!!!This story has it all...
<a href=http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7371043.stm&title=Austrian%20'admits%20daughter%20abuse'
>"OMG" </a>
Monday, April 28, 2008
HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!
Sorry if this link isn't a link, but Holy Crap!
Pedrassess...Incest...Imprisonment!!!!!This story has it all...
Pedrassess...Incest...Imprisonment!!!!!This story has it all...
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Lo Siento Mucho
"Is everything all right?"
"Yup. Three corpses, everything's fine."
Sorry for the mini-hiatus... I've been editing (non-booby edition), and making art a bunch... So let's launch right in, shall we?
Women, would you bathe in a bubble bath manufactured by a company that is known for getting the stink outta your hoo-has? Well that's exactly what Summer's Eve is asking you to do. And while your va-jay-jays may come out smelling cow pastures, campfires, mosquito repellent, wet asphalt, and sunscreen (what do YOUR summers smell like?), I can't say the idea is all that enticing to me. So, uhhh, have any of you like, ever, uhhh... douched your whole body in bath form?
On why I need cable: Aside from the fact that I had to go to 3 bars AGAIN to find the Lakers Playoff game? Uhhh, well right now I'm reduced to either watching a re-run of King of the Hill (which like, uhh, was probably funny at one point, but uhh, yeah), a smattering of infotainment news programming, or the Jennifer Lopez spectacular "The Wedding Planner". Umm, much as I love romantic comedies, I opted to just cut my scrotal sack open to see what was inside. Hint: jujubes.
Because computers aren't just for white-folks no more...
In other news, I dunno if this is legit or not, but if it is, 250 GB of free online storage sounds like a pretty good idea.
Just saw something beautiful on the Simpsons... Marge goes to "LA Body Works" and exclaims, "Ooooooooohhhh, L.A.!!!!! Perhaps this is the gym for me!" Which is kinda how I feel about all things with "LA" or "California" in the title. On the East coast, anything with a slice of avocado on it is "Californian". And "LA" equates to trendy and slender, for some reason. Praise the Internet that The Simpsons is on.
Also, is the BEST part of Orlando really at Universal Orlando's Resort? Really? Like that's the only fucking thing there? That's what the ads would have me believe... but I won't do it. NO!
And another thing: Why do girls (and Matt) like romantic comedies? I mean, you guys know that they suck, right?
"Yup. Three corpses, everything's fine."
Sorry for the mini-hiatus... I've been editing (non-booby edition), and making art a bunch... So let's launch right in, shall we?
Women, would you bathe in a bubble bath manufactured by a company that is known for getting the stink outta your hoo-has? Well that's exactly what Summer's Eve is asking you to do. And while your va-jay-jays may come out smelling cow pastures, campfires, mosquito repellent, wet asphalt, and sunscreen (what do YOUR summers smell like?), I can't say the idea is all that enticing to me. So, uhhh, have any of you like, ever, uhhh... douched your whole body in bath form?
On why I need cable: Aside from the fact that I had to go to 3 bars AGAIN to find the Lakers Playoff game? Uhhh, well right now I'm reduced to either watching a re-run of King of the Hill (which like, uhh, was probably funny at one point, but uhh, yeah), a smattering of infotainment news programming, or the Jennifer Lopez spectacular "The Wedding Planner". Umm, much as I love romantic comedies, I opted to just cut my scrotal sack open to see what was inside. Hint: jujubes.
Because computers aren't just for white-folks no more...
In other news, I dunno if this is legit or not, but if it is, 250 GB of free online storage sounds like a pretty good idea.
Just saw something beautiful on the Simpsons... Marge goes to "LA Body Works" and exclaims, "Ooooooooohhhh, L.A.!!!!! Perhaps this is the gym for me!" Which is kinda how I feel about all things with "LA" or "California" in the title. On the East coast, anything with a slice of avocado on it is "Californian". And "LA" equates to trendy and slender, for some reason. Praise the Internet that The Simpsons is on.
Also, is the BEST part of Orlando really at Universal Orlando's Resort? Really? Like that's the only fucking thing there? That's what the ads would have me believe... but I won't do it. NO!
And another thing: Why do girls (and Matt) like romantic comedies? I mean, you guys know that they suck, right?
Monday, April 21, 2008
What Really Grinds My Gears: Papal Visit Edition
What the FUCK Catholics? I get it ok, the Pope is in town, and everyone has to go apeshit, because there's never been a former Hitler-youth as a Pope, so we should totally freak when he comes to town. I get it, he had a historic airport meeting with the preZ. I get it, he gives lots of masses. Shit, he's the fucking POPE, so he obviously goes to church a lot. But like, I mean, does it have to be on every fucking channel every day of the fucking week? Ok, maybe it's so huge and important that we should fucking cover it like it's Princess Di's wedding.
But here's where I get pissed. Today, the Pope gave a mass in Yankee Stadium. I'm not going to go into how many things are wrong with that (but here's the short list: Worshiping the New Testament God in a place we've erected to worship false idols springs to mind), but it lead to an interesting turn of events. Starting around noon Eastern (earlier on certain channels) EVERY single station began running their "Pope" coverage. This consisted of HOURS of people watching the Pope, well, pope. He poped down the street. He poped in his car. He poped onto the highway. And poped himself into Yankee Stadium, to pope in front of 55,000 hand selected "fans".
The only problem is that, being a Laker fan, and it being the beginning of the Playoffs, and the Lakers happening to be scheduled to play during "Papal Visit:2008" by some cruel twist of fate in the NBA front office, I assumed that when it says, "3:00 pm Eastern on ABC" they mean that at 3 in the afternoon, the Laker game will be on ABC. What they failed to mention was that the fucking POPE will pre-empt all other broadcasts. ON EVERY CHANNEL. IS it too much for the local ABC affiliate to think that maybe not everyone in NEW YORK FUCKING CITY is CATHOLIC or gives a FUCK about the FUCKING POPE? Was someone at ABC too afraid to cut away from the 8 hours of coverage they provided? Did someone think that maybe someone could change the channel to one of the SIX other over the air networks that were broadcasting the poping Pope? Did the geniuses at ABC think, when deciding the game would be on ESPN2 that since like very fucking bar in New York has Direct TV and not cable, that they should make a recourse for these people as well? Here I was planning to spend the afternoon at home, watching the game and rejoicing in the thrill of the game. Instead I had to go to a bar in search of the game, sit, drink, eat, and spend money I don't have. So in a way, I feel like the Catholic Church owes me $35 (tip and tax included). Also, I'm seeking at least 2 free sins, as damages for the 2 hours I spent stressing and not watching the game, before the game finally came on regular TV again, and I was able to watch. Of course, at this point, the game was all but over. Yeah.
So why is it that the Catholics plastered their religion all over the city this weekend? Why can't I escape it? Is that fair? Is that compassionate? Did not Jesus say, "He who preacheth in the House that Ruth built shalt not obfuscate the visions of the Purple and Gold from the Heathen Gurf"? I'm pretty sure he did. But maybe it's in the gnostic texts, which is why YOU never heard about it.
But here's where I get pissed. Today, the Pope gave a mass in Yankee Stadium. I'm not going to go into how many things are wrong with that (but here's the short list: Worshiping the New Testament God in a place we've erected to worship false idols springs to mind), but it lead to an interesting turn of events. Starting around noon Eastern (earlier on certain channels) EVERY single station began running their "Pope" coverage. This consisted of HOURS of people watching the Pope, well, pope. He poped down the street. He poped in his car. He poped onto the highway. And poped himself into Yankee Stadium, to pope in front of 55,000 hand selected "fans".
The only problem is that, being a Laker fan, and it being the beginning of the Playoffs, and the Lakers happening to be scheduled to play during "Papal Visit:2008" by some cruel twist of fate in the NBA front office, I assumed that when it says, "3:00 pm Eastern on ABC" they mean that at 3 in the afternoon, the Laker game will be on ABC. What they failed to mention was that the fucking POPE will pre-empt all other broadcasts. ON EVERY CHANNEL. IS it too much for the local ABC affiliate to think that maybe not everyone in NEW YORK FUCKING CITY is CATHOLIC or gives a FUCK about the FUCKING POPE? Was someone at ABC too afraid to cut away from the 8 hours of coverage they provided? Did someone think that maybe someone could change the channel to one of the SIX other over the air networks that were broadcasting the poping Pope? Did the geniuses at ABC think, when deciding the game would be on ESPN2 that since like very fucking bar in New York has Direct TV and not cable, that they should make a recourse for these people as well? Here I was planning to spend the afternoon at home, watching the game and rejoicing in the thrill of the game. Instead I had to go to a bar in search of the game, sit, drink, eat, and spend money I don't have. So in a way, I feel like the Catholic Church owes me $35 (tip and tax included). Also, I'm seeking at least 2 free sins, as damages for the 2 hours I spent stressing and not watching the game, before the game finally came on regular TV again, and I was able to watch. Of course, at this point, the game was all but over. Yeah.
So why is it that the Catholics plastered their religion all over the city this weekend? Why can't I escape it? Is that fair? Is that compassionate? Did not Jesus say, "He who preacheth in the House that Ruth built shalt not obfuscate the visions of the Purple and Gold from the Heathen Gurf"? I'm pretty sure he did. But maybe it's in the gnostic texts, which is why YOU never heard about it.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Dear Facebook: Addendum Edition
Also, asking me if I want to meet attractive 40 year old women, while somewhat alluring in the whole Mrs. Robinson thing, is kinda creepy for a website geared towards College kids.
Dear Facebook: New Stuff Edition
Dear Facebook,
Ok, you kinda pissed me off when one day on the same page you asked me if I wanted to be friends with not one, but TWO of my ex-girlfriends (new feature: people who know people you know are suggested as potential friends). But that was just like kinda funny actually. But recently you've been asking me if I want to meet single men in my area. I mean, the thing about targeted advertising is that you should actually target the people who would be receptive to your marketing. I don't expect you to know who all of my ex's are (although ones whom I've listed as "in a relationship with" at one point and later ended said relationship I would think maybe some programmer might put a line in there that would exclude that person, but like ya know, programmers have never had girlfriends, so I wouldn't expect them to know how awkward that would make a person feel). But I do expect you to have your ads scan my information (that is why you sold the ad space to the advertiser, after all) and where it says, "Sex: Male, Interested In: Women" I'd think you would stick to those annoying "Meet Single Women in your Area" ads.
But for the past 3 days, I've been inundated with "meet Gay Singles in your area", "Meet Single Men" and other such. Now I have nothing against gay people. I'm just not one. And unless facebook knows something I don't, most straight men don't look for single gay men. That's what gay men do. So maybe that ad should be targeted at them. Just saying.
Also, I'd just like to give a shout-out to the Lakers. Nice work winning the Conference, fellas. Big things ahead. PLAYOFFS??? PLAYOFFS???
Ok, you kinda pissed me off when one day on the same page you asked me if I wanted to be friends with not one, but TWO of my ex-girlfriends (new feature: people who know people you know are suggested as potential friends). But that was just like kinda funny actually. But recently you've been asking me if I want to meet single men in my area. I mean, the thing about targeted advertising is that you should actually target the people who would be receptive to your marketing. I don't expect you to know who all of my ex's are (although ones whom I've listed as "in a relationship with" at one point and later ended said relationship I would think maybe some programmer might put a line in there that would exclude that person, but like ya know, programmers have never had girlfriends, so I wouldn't expect them to know how awkward that would make a person feel). But I do expect you to have your ads scan my information (that is why you sold the ad space to the advertiser, after all) and where it says, "Sex: Male, Interested In: Women" I'd think you would stick to those annoying "Meet Single Women in your Area" ads.
But for the past 3 days, I've been inundated with "meet Gay Singles in your area", "Meet Single Men" and other such. Now I have nothing against gay people. I'm just not one. And unless facebook knows something I don't, most straight men don't look for single gay men. That's what gay men do. So maybe that ad should be targeted at them. Just saying.
Also, I'd just like to give a shout-out to the Lakers. Nice work winning the Conference, fellas. Big things ahead. PLAYOFFS??? PLAYOFFS???
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
New Shit has come to light
Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know?
Check it:
Now, I'm not exactly sure why we wish our politicians to never waiver from their thoughts. If someone one day decides they don't like gays in the military, we expect them to never rethink their stance. But that's not my gripe here, because if Hillary would say, "I used to support X, but now have changed my mind", that would be cool. I'd say, "Great, she actually thought about an issue and it's relevance to the time and changed her mind according to the current conditions. Excellent." But Hillary has this thing she does where she pretends to be on the popular side of a message, and pretends to have been there all along. But she, ya know, wasn't. So uhh... yeah. Also, John McCain doesn't know if condoms stop the spread of AIDS. I know the story is old, but if you haven't read it yet, WOW. And if like me, you just re-read it again, WOW. I sure hope he's figured it out.
Check it:
Now, I'm not exactly sure why we wish our politicians to never waiver from their thoughts. If someone one day decides they don't like gays in the military, we expect them to never rethink their stance. But that's not my gripe here, because if Hillary would say, "I used to support X, but now have changed my mind", that would be cool. I'd say, "Great, she actually thought about an issue and it's relevance to the time and changed her mind according to the current conditions. Excellent." But Hillary has this thing she does where she pretends to be on the popular side of a message, and pretends to have been there all along. But she, ya know, wasn't. So uhh... yeah. Also, John McCain doesn't know if condoms stop the spread of AIDS. I know the story is old, but if you haven't read it yet, WOW. And if like me, you just re-read it again, WOW. I sure hope he's figured it out.
Monday, April 14, 2008
A return to form
Ok first it's time again for me to assail Blockbuster. Boy they sure don't know what they hell they are doing. For a refresher course, here's the Gurftastic Recaps, 1, 2, 3. The latest is an attempt to take-over the troubled Circuit City franchises. What Blockbuster touts as a new retail experience with lots of paradigms and fusions, seems to me like the worst idea I've heard in years. Here's my fav quote from the above article, by Blockbuster CEO, Jim Keyes,
"We believe the combination will result in a compelling consumer proposition that will drive significant revenue and margin enhancements as well as cost synergies."
Can you spot the double talk? Granted Blockbuster has been over for a while now (refer to above cited Gurfblogs), and true that Circuit City's new CEO's big money saving gamble (namely firing all of their best- read: highest commission earning- salsepeople) has turned out to be a collosally bad idea. But Blockbuster actually thinks that since they made money this last quarter (by raising their rates for everything) that their business has a future. They don't. Not as currently constructed, that's for sure. Furthermore, in case you didn't notice, Circuit City already sells DVD's, CD's, and video games. So what exactly would a merger with LACKLUSTER do for CC? I mean I guess they don't sell US Weekly at the register, and they don't have popcorn. So I mean there's that. But how many people so you know who go out to buy a new TV and realize they should also rent a DVD at the same time? Nobody. Because that's the dumbest idea I've ever heard of. In a world where you can subscribe to toilet paper (Melly's blog shout-out) are there enough centagenarians out there buying LCD flat screen TVs who then wheelchair themselves over to blockbuster to quench their insatiable urge for Queen Latifa's latest foray into 'comedy' or softcore porn? I mean, shit... my mother has a Netflix account. This is a woman who asked me in all seriousness if copying a file from the computer to a floppy disk would erase the computer. Love her to death, but she's afraid of technology (and why not? Girls of her generation weren't supposed to touch anything techno-anything... and some phobias die hard). And she's got Netflix. When I asked her why... 'Because Netflix has everything and especially foreign films, which is great'. She also felt that the local Blockbuster didn't really have enough foreign and indie. Well newsflash: it's not just THAT Blockbuster. It's the entire corporation. Someday for fun, you should read the Netflix hiring guidelines. It's pretty enlightening.
On another note, we have to talk about the big sunglasses again, ladies. The thing about it is, it's getting warmer, and the sunglasses are getting bigger. DJSkram and I were talking recently about the phenom as we sat and people watched in SOHO. Every, and I mean EVERY fucking chick that walked by was wearing stupidly big sunglasses. Some dudes too. And it became clear suddenly. The bigger the glasses the smaller the area of your ugly face I can see. Therefore I think you are hotter than you are. Essentially you are lying to me. And that's not cool, we don't even know each other. That's no way to start a relationship. But it works. So Deej and I decided to invent the next fad. Which would be something to cover rest of your hideous mugs, so as to better homogenize society, whilst making us rich, and getting ugos laid. Seems almost like a humanitarian gesture really. Incidentally, who the FUCK invents what is fashionable? Remember side ponytails? Who decided that was a good idea? How the fuck does this shit get decided and why don't I have a say?
And lastly, I know the economy is in the shitter, the gov is strapped for cash, and everyone is using this intertube thing to send those electro-digi telegrams thingmajigs, so the USPS has been hurting for a while. And I know they've been relying on the junkmail industry to keep them afloat for a while. But as I mobi-blog here from the 68th street post-office, I really feel the need to mention that in this consumer society where cute macbot chicks can convince me to buy the faster/more expensive anything, just by batting her beautiful brown eyes at me, the last place I want someone to try to upsell me is the FUCKING POST OFFICE. It doesn't bother me when they ask me if I want stamps after my transaction is complete. Maybe I do... Everyone needs stamps sometimes. I'm almost used to that now (it used to irk me to no end). No, what bothers me is the two dudes who are roving the 100+ person line here asking if you need delivery confirmation, express shipping, return receipt or any of the other myriad of services that their bosses have asked them to hock. I came here to mail my fucking taxes, don't try to get me to pony up (get it?) any more cash. Also, since when did it become Home Depot presents the Post Office? Fuck sheeple...
"We believe the combination will result in a compelling consumer proposition that will drive significant revenue and margin enhancements as well as cost synergies."
Can you spot the double talk? Granted Blockbuster has been over for a while now (refer to above cited Gurfblogs), and true that Circuit City's new CEO's big money saving gamble (namely firing all of their best- read: highest commission earning- salsepeople) has turned out to be a collosally bad idea. But Blockbuster actually thinks that since they made money this last quarter (by raising their rates for everything) that their business has a future. They don't. Not as currently constructed, that's for sure. Furthermore, in case you didn't notice, Circuit City already sells DVD's, CD's, and video games. So what exactly would a merger with LACKLUSTER do for CC? I mean I guess they don't sell US Weekly at the register, and they don't have popcorn. So I mean there's that. But how many people so you know who go out to buy a new TV and realize they should also rent a DVD at the same time? Nobody. Because that's the dumbest idea I've ever heard of. In a world where you can subscribe to toilet paper (Melly's blog shout-out) are there enough centagenarians out there buying LCD flat screen TVs who then wheelchair themselves over to blockbuster to quench their insatiable urge for Queen Latifa's latest foray into 'comedy' or softcore porn? I mean, shit... my mother has a Netflix account. This is a woman who asked me in all seriousness if copying a file from the computer to a floppy disk would erase the computer. Love her to death, but she's afraid of technology (and why not? Girls of her generation weren't supposed to touch anything techno-anything... and some phobias die hard). And she's got Netflix. When I asked her why... 'Because Netflix has everything and especially foreign films, which is great'. She also felt that the local Blockbuster didn't really have enough foreign and indie. Well newsflash: it's not just THAT Blockbuster. It's the entire corporation. Someday for fun, you should read the Netflix hiring guidelines. It's pretty enlightening.
On another note, we have to talk about the big sunglasses again, ladies. The thing about it is, it's getting warmer, and the sunglasses are getting bigger. DJSkram and I were talking recently about the phenom as we sat and people watched in SOHO. Every, and I mean EVERY fucking chick that walked by was wearing stupidly big sunglasses. Some dudes too. And it became clear suddenly. The bigger the glasses the smaller the area of your ugly face I can see. Therefore I think you are hotter than you are. Essentially you are lying to me. And that's not cool, we don't even know each other. That's no way to start a relationship. But it works. So Deej and I decided to invent the next fad. Which would be something to cover rest of your hideous mugs, so as to better homogenize society, whilst making us rich, and getting ugos laid. Seems almost like a humanitarian gesture really. Incidentally, who the FUCK invents what is fashionable? Remember side ponytails? Who decided that was a good idea? How the fuck does this shit get decided and why don't I have a say?
And lastly, I know the economy is in the shitter, the gov is strapped for cash, and everyone is using this intertube thing to send those electro-digi telegrams thingmajigs, so the USPS has been hurting for a while. And I know they've been relying on the junkmail industry to keep them afloat for a while. But as I mobi-blog here from the 68th street post-office, I really feel the need to mention that in this consumer society where cute macbot chicks can convince me to buy the faster/more expensive anything, just by batting her beautiful brown eyes at me, the last place I want someone to try to upsell me is the FUCKING POST OFFICE. It doesn't bother me when they ask me if I want stamps after my transaction is complete. Maybe I do... Everyone needs stamps sometimes. I'm almost used to that now (it used to irk me to no end). No, what bothers me is the two dudes who are roving the 100+ person line here asking if you need delivery confirmation, express shipping, return receipt or any of the other myriad of services that their bosses have asked them to hock. I came here to mail my fucking taxes, don't try to get me to pony up (get it?) any more cash. Also, since when did it become Home Depot presents the Post Office? Fuck sheeple...
Monday, April 7, 2008
Daytime is the Right Time
Oh, they have the internet on computers now.
KFC, why do you produce commercials just to irk me? The latest and greatest? Well it's a family having a BUCKET of chicken. MMMM... I love to have all of my food in bucket form, but that's just me. I mean... like... uhh, there ARE other types of receptacles out there... So this family is gathering around, and little Jimmy or Tommy has a friend over for dinner. That doesn't really bother me. I mean, people have dinner. And kids have friends. And they sometimes come over for dinner. No... what irks me is that everyone looks like they have a fine SHEEN on their hair. The kids look like they're wearing hard plastic wigs, instead of hair. It's hard for me to imagine that whomever shot this didn't catch this abomination, so I'm guessing that they actually PAID someone to do this in POST production. Yes... they WANTED this effect. Why? Probably cause the "Srimp" dude was busy that week. Yeah. And then it's like the WORST commercial I've ever seen. Completely and utterly inane. It's just awful. I seriously think KFC needs to fire their ad firm.
Meanwhile, the best thing about not having cable and having a job that requires you to spend long hours indoors means that I'm tempted to watch daytime television. You know how I love to be hungover and watch bad movies? Well the corollary to that is that I somewhat detest daytime TV. It's not that it's bad. It's terrible. So here I am, blogging while John O'Hurley hosts Family Fued (I remember when the host was the dude who was two before Al Borlan from Tool Time, but I mean, that's neither here nor there). Yeah. Kinda weird watching J. Peterman sort of half do his schtick while sort of perving out on every chick that's on the show. It's weird.
Also I saw a hot girl on the street this one time in New York. It was totally sweet.
KFC, why do you produce commercials just to irk me? The latest and greatest? Well it's a family having a BUCKET of chicken. MMMM... I love to have all of my food in bucket form, but that's just me. I mean... like... uhh, there ARE other types of receptacles out there... So this family is gathering around, and little Jimmy or Tommy has a friend over for dinner. That doesn't really bother me. I mean, people have dinner. And kids have friends. And they sometimes come over for dinner. No... what irks me is that everyone looks like they have a fine SHEEN on their hair. The kids look like they're wearing hard plastic wigs, instead of hair. It's hard for me to imagine that whomever shot this didn't catch this abomination, so I'm guessing that they actually PAID someone to do this in POST production. Yes... they WANTED this effect. Why? Probably cause the "Srimp" dude was busy that week. Yeah. And then it's like the WORST commercial I've ever seen. Completely and utterly inane. It's just awful. I seriously think KFC needs to fire their ad firm.
Meanwhile, the best thing about not having cable and having a job that requires you to spend long hours indoors means that I'm tempted to watch daytime television. You know how I love to be hungover and watch bad movies? Well the corollary to that is that I somewhat detest daytime TV. It's not that it's bad. It's terrible. So here I am, blogging while John O'Hurley hosts Family Fued (I remember when the host was the dude who was two before Al Borlan from Tool Time, but I mean, that's neither here nor there). Yeah. Kinda weird watching J. Peterman sort of half do his schtick while sort of perving out on every chick that's on the show. It's weird.
Also I saw a hot girl on the street this one time in New York. It was totally sweet.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Obligatory End of the Work Week Obama Gush
Suck it, Chris Matthews.
Cable news gets off way too easily. And also, Obama went on the View. Dunno how I feel about that, but like, I guess maybe it's a good idea to let the dumbass housewives of middle-America know that he's like... ya know... not Muslim.
Cable news gets off way too easily. And also, Obama went on the View. Dunno how I feel about that, but like, I guess maybe it's a good idea to let the dumbass housewives of middle-America know that he's like... ya know... not Muslim.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
A Theorem
Those of you who know me know that I'm a fan of what the ancient Greeks called "logic". So I tend to "think" about "things". So here's what I've been thinking of lately:
You know how hot chicks are always with DOUCHEBAGS? Yeah. I've been wondering about that a lot lately. So here's my half-baked theory:
Guys fuck chicks based on their looks. When a guy first sees a girl, he knows A) if he wants to fuck her right then, B) how many beers he would need to want to fuck her, and then he begins the painfully long process of trying to manage to fool her into liking him.
Girls fuck dudes based on their personality. Now wait a second here ladies. I know that you gals go through the same "do I want to fuck this guy based on his physical appearance" thing. I'm not going to pretend you don't fuck guys you are physically attracted to. BUT, you TOTALLY fuck dudes who you maybe aren't all that physically attracted to at first, but then decide after your initial impression that you really dig his personality, and therefore want to bone him. This doesn't really explain why hot chicks date douchebags, because I can't begin to contemplate douchebags having great personalities. So... I guess what I'm saying is, I'm stumped. I mean, unless like, all these douchey dudes are somehow just super-cool and we just would never think it. But like why would there be a website like this?
You know how hot chicks are always with DOUCHEBAGS? Yeah. I've been wondering about that a lot lately. So here's my half-baked theory:
Guys fuck chicks based on their looks. When a guy first sees a girl, he knows A) if he wants to fuck her right then, B) how many beers he would need to want to fuck her, and then he begins the painfully long process of trying to manage to fool her into liking him.
Girls fuck dudes based on their personality. Now wait a second here ladies. I know that you gals go through the same "do I want to fuck this guy based on his physical appearance" thing. I'm not going to pretend you don't fuck guys you are physically attracted to. BUT, you TOTALLY fuck dudes who you maybe aren't all that physically attracted to at first, but then decide after your initial impression that you really dig his personality, and therefore want to bone him. This doesn't really explain why hot chicks date douchebags, because I can't begin to contemplate douchebags having great personalities. So... I guess what I'm saying is, I'm stumped. I mean, unless like, all these douchey dudes are somehow just super-cool and we just would never think it. But like why would there be a website like this?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
