A return to form

Ok first it's time again for me to assail Blockbuster. Boy they sure don't know what they hell they are doing. For a refresher course, here's the Gurftastic Recaps, 1, 2, 3. The latest is an attempt to take-over the troubled Circuit City franchises. What Blockbuster touts as a new retail experience with lots of paradigms and fusions, seems to me like the worst idea I've heard in years. Here's my fav quote from the above article, by Blockbuster CEO, Jim Keyes,

"We believe the combination will result in a compelling consumer proposition that will drive significant revenue and margin enhancements as well as cost synergies."

Can you spot the double talk? Granted Blockbuster has been over for a while now (refer to above cited Gurfblogs), and true that Circuit City's new CEO's big money saving gamble (namely firing all of their best- read: highest commission earning- salsepeople) has turned out to be a collosally bad idea. But Blockbuster actually thinks that since they made money this last quarter (by raising their rates for everything) that their business has a future. They don't. Not as currently constructed, that's for sure. Furthermore, in case you didn't notice, Circuit City already sells DVD's, CD's, and video games. So what exactly would a merger with LACKLUSTER do for CC? I mean I guess they don't sell US Weekly at the register, and they don't have popcorn. So I mean there's that. But how many people so you know who go out to buy a new TV and realize they should also rent a DVD at the same time? Nobody. Because that's the dumbest idea I've ever heard of. In a world where you can subscribe to toilet paper (Melly's blog shout-out) are there enough centagenarians out there buying LCD flat screen TVs who then wheelchair themselves over to blockbuster to quench their insatiable urge for Queen Latifa's latest foray into 'comedy' or softcore porn? I mean, shit... my mother has a Netflix account. This is a woman who asked me in all seriousness if copying a file from the computer to a floppy disk would erase the computer. Love her to death, but she's afraid of technology (and why not? Girls of her generation weren't supposed to touch anything techno-anything... and some phobias die hard). And she's got Netflix. When I asked her why... 'Because Netflix has everything and especially foreign films, which is great'. She also felt that the local Blockbuster didn't really have enough foreign and indie. Well newsflash: it's not just THAT Blockbuster. It's the entire corporation. Someday for fun, you should read the Netflix hiring guidelines. It's pretty enlightening.

On another note, we have to talk about the big sunglasses again, ladies. The thing about it is, it's getting warmer, and the sunglasses are getting bigger. DJSkram and I were talking recently about the phenom as we sat and people watched in SOHO. Every, and I mean EVERY fucking chick that walked by was wearing stupidly big sunglasses. Some dudes too. And it became clear suddenly. The bigger the glasses the smaller the area of your ugly face I can see. Therefore I think you are hotter than you are. Essentially you are lying to me. And that's not cool, we don't even know each other. That's no way to start a relationship. But it works. So Deej and I decided to invent the next fad. Which would be something to cover rest of your hideous mugs, so as to better homogenize society, whilst making us rich, and getting ugos laid. Seems almost like a humanitarian gesture really. Incidentally, who the FUCK invents what is fashionable? Remember side ponytails? Who decided that was a good idea? How the fuck does this shit get decided and why don't I have a say?

And lastly, I know the economy is in the shitter, the gov is strapped for cash, and everyone is using this intertube thing to send those electro-digi telegrams thingmajigs, so the USPS has been hurting for a while. And I know they've been relying on the junkmail industry to keep them afloat for a while. But as I mobi-blog here from the 68th street post-office, I really feel the need to mention that in this consumer society where cute macbot chicks can convince me to buy the faster/more expensive anything, just by batting her beautiful brown eyes at me, the last place I want someone to try to upsell me is the FUCKING POST OFFICE. It doesn't bother me when they ask me if I want stamps after my transaction is complete. Maybe I do... Everyone needs stamps sometimes. I'm almost used to that now (it used to irk me to no end). No, what bothers me is the two dudes who are roving the 100+ person line here asking if you need delivery confirmation, express shipping, return receipt or any of the other myriad of services that their bosses have asked them to hock. I came here to mail my fucking taxes, don't try to get me to pony up (get it?) any more cash. Also, since when did it become Home Depot presents the Post Office? Fuck sheeple...