What Really Grinds My Gears: Papal Visit Edition

What the FUCK Catholics? I get it ok, the Pope is in town, and everyone has to go apeshit, because there's never been a former Hitler-youth as a Pope, so we should totally freak when he comes to town. I get it, he had a historic airport meeting with the preZ. I get it, he gives lots of masses. Shit, he's the fucking POPE, so he obviously goes to church a lot. But like, I mean, does it have to be on every fucking channel every day of the fucking week? Ok, maybe it's so huge and important that we should fucking cover it like it's Princess Di's wedding.

But here's where I get pissed. Today, the Pope gave a mass in Yankee Stadium. I'm not going to go into how many things are wrong with that (but here's the short list: Worshiping the New Testament God in a place we've erected to worship false idols springs to mind), but it lead to an interesting turn of events. Starting around noon Eastern (earlier on certain channels) EVERY single station began running their "Pope" coverage. This consisted of HOURS of people watching the Pope, well, pope. He poped down the street. He poped in his car. He poped onto the highway. And poped himself into Yankee Stadium, to pope in front of 55,000 hand selected "fans".

The only problem is that, being a Laker fan, and it being the beginning of the Playoffs, and the Lakers happening to be scheduled to play during "Papal Visit:2008" by some cruel twist of fate in the NBA front office, I assumed that when it says, "3:00 pm Eastern on ABC" they mean that at 3 in the afternoon, the Laker game will be on ABC. What they failed to mention was that the fucking POPE will pre-empt all other broadcasts. ON EVERY CHANNEL. IS it too much for the local ABC affiliate to think that maybe not everyone in NEW YORK FUCKING CITY is CATHOLIC or gives a FUCK about the FUCKING POPE? Was someone at ABC too afraid to cut away from the 8 hours of coverage they provided? Did someone think that maybe someone could change the channel to one of the SIX other over the air networks that were broadcasting the poping Pope? Did the geniuses at ABC think, when deciding the game would be on ESPN2 that since like very fucking bar in New York has Direct TV and not cable, that they should make a recourse for these people as well? Here I was planning to spend the afternoon at home, watching the game and rejoicing in the thrill of the game. Instead I had to go to a bar in search of the game, sit, drink, eat, and spend money I don't have. So in a way, I feel like the Catholic Church owes me $35 (tip and tax included). Also, I'm seeking at least 2 free sins, as damages for the 2 hours I spent stressing and not watching the game, before the game finally came on regular TV again, and I was able to watch. Of course, at this point, the game was all but over. Yeah.

So why is it that the Catholics plastered their religion all over the city this weekend? Why can't I escape it? Is that fair? Is that compassionate? Did not Jesus say, "He who preacheth in the House that Ruth built shalt not obfuscate the visions of the Purple and Gold from the Heathen Gurf"? I'm pretty sure he did. But maybe it's in the gnostic texts, which is why YOU never heard about it.